Pavlov's Dogs

Remember Pavlov and the dogs he trained to salivate and drool in response to a bell?  His work paved the way for the study of learned responses and what’s called objective behavior.  This research demonstrated that in a very real way we are all trained and our behavior is largely learned.  It’s very fascinating work, but what I really want to write about is how we train our kids and the behavior we help them learn.

We all know that Parenting 101 teaches the principle that we should reward the behavior we want.  Likewise, we all want our kids to really know that we love them and we want them to love us back so we give them tokens of our affection – treats to show them how we feel.  I’m great with that!  My question is why do we believe these treats always need to be in the form of ice cream, sugary snacks, pizza and other processed, fake, junk foods?  I’m asking this because I’ve been known to do this myself.  Rewarding our kids for good grades or good behavior with a milkshake is quick, cheap and easy and it supplies that instant gratification.  But when obesity rates have more than tripled in youth since 1970 and the leading causes of death (heart disease, cancer, and diabetes) are all linked to lifestyle and diet, is this really how we want to reward our kids?  Remember the research I shared that showed measuring lifestyle habits before the age of 15 was a frighteningly accurate predictor of disease later in life?  The flip side of this is true as well!  Sugary and fatty junk foods release dopamine (the feel good chemical) in the brain that can counteract serotonin (the feel bad chemical in the brain).  When our kids have had a rough day, a sugary snack truly will make them feel better temporarily.  But what are they going to do later in life when they’ve had a rough day at work, or their kids are stressing them out, and so on, and so on?  Just like Pavlov and his pups, the behavior we lay down at an early age in the brain sticks with us, and is very hard to overcome later in life.  These are the exact behaviors that are linked to chronic disease.

What I’m proposing you do with me over the next month is try to find a different reward for your kids.  Find a cheap toy, a couple ITunes songs, or just give them time doing something they love to do as a reward for the behavior we want.